


If I Had a Box Just for Wishes

by ambiguously



Category: Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: F/M, M/M, Minor Wedge Antilles/Luke Skywalker, Multi, Psychic Bond, Threesome - F/M/M, Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2019-01-21 05:35:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12450684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ambiguously/pseuds/ambiguously
Summary: Luke falls in love and has his heart broken a lot. He wouldn't trade it for anything.





	If I Had a Box Just for Wishes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [karyatid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/karyatid/gifts).



Luke isn't drunk, though somewhere around midnight he thinks he ought to be. The alcohol is flowing like water tonight in this humid temple they're using for a base. He's officially been a member of the Rebellion for about thirty-six hours, and right now, he's everyone's best friend. People whose names he doesn't know slap him on the back and congratulate him. He's received more than a few friendly kisses on the cheek, and he's not sure because he doesn't speak that language, but he thinks he's had one marriage proposal.

It's great, he's happy, riding high on the relief and ebullience of the other Rebels, and if Luke keeps bouncing from celebrating group to celebrating group, he can hold onto this good mood like a soap bubble floating up into the sky on a hot breeze.

He dips when he wanders by the command center. Leia's not partying with the rest, but instead is deep in conversation with other people he doesn't know but who all wear tired faces, grim in their victory. The Empire will be back, and the Rebellion has suffered heavy losses. Not everyone can afford to celebrate tonight, not with planning to be done. Leia catches sight of him and genuine happiness lights her smile, like a shaft of sunlight in a dark, busy cave. He gives her a wave and lets her get back to work. Everyone deals with their pain in their own way. When Aunt Beru's mother died, she cleaned every surface in the homestead until it shone like silver.

Luke lets the noise of the party draw him back to the rest of the base, but over the thump of the music playing too loud, he hears something that almost sounds like sobbing. This isn't a festival. It's a wake. There are too many funerals ahead to contemplate, and many who will get no funeral at all.

He's not drunk, but he sees why everyone who can drink is headed that way as fast as possible.

Another stranger claps him on the shoulder, and Luke can practically feel the grief radiating off his new friend, reminding him of his own griefs. He wonders if the neighbors have come to the homestead and cleared out the last of their possessions. Luke could give only a poor burial to the two people who'd loved him his whole life, laying them together in the same hastily-dug grave beside Grandfather and Grandmother. Ben left nothing behind to bury. Biggs sparkled into dust as he died.

It's not hard to break away. Everyone is too busy trying to have fun to notice the hero pilot who won them this good time, and he's glad for that, because suddenly and sharply, Luke doesn't feel like anyone's hero. His feet wander him towards the one place on this base that reminds him of home.

He assumes Han and Chewie will be at the party enjoying their new-found popularity, and maybe that's where Chewbacca is now. Han's sitting comfortably on top of the Falcon, resting with his hands behind his head and looking off into nowhere. It's weird, and Luke pauses for a moment to watch him. There are any number of good-looking folks who'd be happy to show Captain Solo a good time tonight, but he's alone.

"Hey," Luke says, and Han breaks away from whatever thought he's having to glance over and down.

"Hey, kid."

"Join you?"

"Sure."

Luke climbs up, scaling the easy handholds Han and Chewie have installed to reach every surface of their beloved ship. He finds a seat beside Han and with only a moment's hesitation, he sits down next to him.

"Why aren't you at the party?" Luke asks.

"I could ask you the same thing. I figured you'd be getting lucky by now."

Luke snorts. "Yeah, right."

"I mean it. Half this base would be glad to get into your pants tonight. They'd regret it by morning, but that's why you take them up on it now."

"What about you? You swooped in to save the day. That's got to be worth something." He's known Han for two days, but joking around with him feels natural, like he's back home joking around with Biggs.

There's a thickness in his own throat he doesn't like.

"I'm gonna need that good will when I get out of here," Han says. "I don't want to ask for some general's help and find out I slept with his daughter." He waves his hand. "Or her son, or whatever." It occurs to Luke that Han's let himself sample the moonshine-laced punch. He's more relaxed than normal, and normally, he's already as relaxed as a stoned cat.

"When do you think you'll go?" Luke asks. The "general's son" comment replays itself in his head.

Han shrugs. "Soon. I have to pay off this debt, and while there's a price on my head, the last thing you and your new friends want is attention from the kind of people wanting to collect."

"Just don't go flying off without saying goodbye."

"Are you kidding? I expect a full going-away party."

Luke chuckles and settles back next to Han. Despite the heaviness in his heart, as the losses of the last few days keep bubbling up in his thoughts, he's enjoying the warmth radiating off his friend, and the simple peace of spending time with him. They've been through a lot in the short time they've known each other.

"I can do that," Luke says. "Balloons, cake, maybe some party games. Have you ever played 'Pin the Arm on the Droid?' It's loads of fun."

"I got to you just in time, kid. Let me tell you about some real parties." He turns and grins.

"Like the one we're missing?" Luke grins back at him.

Han leans closer. "This one's depressing."

"I'm starting to have a good time."

Luke kisses him. It's quick, tight, and with no more promise than the soft touches on his cheek have been all night. Han's eyes grow big for a moment and he pulls back.

"Hey, don't."

"Sorry. I thought...." Luke stops talking, embarrassed.

"You've had a little too much to drink, and you've been through a lot. This is a bad time to do something you'll regret later."

"Shows what you know. I haven't had anything to drink at all. And weren't you suggesting I find someone tonight?"

"I said I was surprised you hadn't, that's all." He puts on that face Luke is learning is as much of a mask as the stormtroopers wear. "I figured you be talking that princess into some gratitude sex."

"I don't want her to sleep with me because she feels obligated to say thank you. Besides, she's busy."

Han makes an exaggerated sigh. "Well, if Leia's _busy_ , I guess that's okay."

Luke kisses him again, and this time it's dirty and demanding. He feels Han tense before falling into the kiss, hands grabbing for Luke's shoulders, but not to push him away. Not this time. He only pauses to rest their heads together, breathing heavily. "Are you sure about this, Luke?" He sounds like he is really hoping the answer is yes.

"Are you?"

"Yeah." He kisses Luke this time, and it's nice, with a sensual motion Luke could learn to love, but Han is leaving soon, and that's what makes him perfect tonight. "I don't want you to regret your first time."

Luke almost ruins things by laughing, barely stopping himself. "You think this is my first time?"

"It's not?" Han's face goes through several emotions, and desire is facing stiff competition from curiosity. Luke would rather deal with other stiff things, and now that he's sure Han's interested, he rubs the heel of his hand against Han's crotch. Curiosity subsides.

They make it inside the ship, but not back to Han's bunk. The deck is hard, but Han's mouth is talented, and any possible doubts Luke ever had that he wasn't into men vanish with the warm trembling of his own hips as he gets closer and closer to the edge while Han's arms hold him in place. Han knows how to suck and relax in all the right ways until Luke can't restrain himself. Then it's Luke's turn to explore, addled and happy in his post-orgasmic haze, licking his way over Han's body and using his hands until Han makes a mess between them.

They go again in Han's bunk a while later, and Luke takes Han into his mouth then, and this is the first time he's done that, but Han guides his head and it's good, tasting him this way, and it's good, slick between his thighs after.

"This is a one-time thing," Han warns him, worn out when they're finished and sticky and pleased. "I'm out of here in a few days."

"Good with me," Luke says, before falling asleep.

* * *

Han doesn't leave, not even when the entire base heads out, but they don't go to bed again. In some ways, Luke is grateful. He was hurting and messed up the night after the battle. If he fell into bed with anyone else that night, there would be complications now. Han is the least complicated person Luke has ever met.

Leia is full of complications. She's happy to spend time with him, either at meals or during the little free time she gets to herself. Despite being Luke's age, and it's a little like destiny to find out they're exactly the same age, Leia is high up in the Rebellion chain of command, which means she attends every possible planning meeting and conference session with self-appointed commanders and generals. Luke doesn't want to say how reminded he is of when the other kids around Anchorhead played pretend together, giving each other titles and expecting to be respected according to those made-up names. Half the people here, leaders and crew both, seem to be ex-Imperials, and the rest are a rough blend of idealists, mercenaries, and drifting souls who've lost everything and have nothing left but this fight. Luke likes to think he's an idealist, but when Leia looks at him, he knows she sees someone who has nowhere else to go.

The bloom of his popularity has settled down. Aside from Leia and Han, he's picked up a few friends among the other pilots. They don't know about his one night with Han, and Luke has no reason to tell them. Instead, they tease him about Leia because apparently everyone under the age of sixty has gone through crushing on her but Luke is one of the few she's been overtly kind to in response.

"It's not like that," Luke says to Wedge over cards for the millionth time. "We're friends."

Hobbie says, "The Ice Princess doesn't make friends."

Wedge pokes him, hard. "Enough of that." He's been with the Rebellion for a while. Both of them have. Wedge is more defensive of the others who've been around a long time. They've all been through a lot together.

They are just friends, Luke decides during yet another tasteless dinner in the mess hall. Leia tells him about her day and listens to his. Han hasn't joined them this time, though when he does, he tells the best stories, especially ones to make Leia's ears steam. He loves teasing her, and Luke has trouble knowing when to step in before Han goes too far and upsets her again. If she's only interested in having someone her own age to vent to, Luke is fine with that. She's genuinely nice, and when she lets her guard down, he knows he'd do anything she asks of him, even fly into another Death Star.

"Let's go for a walk," Leia says as they return their light trays to the kitchen. They're both careful to scrape them as clean as they can. Even princesses get mess duty now and then.

"Sure." He's due to meet the guys for a holo later, but he saw this one years ago back home. Thinking about Tatooine hurts less with each passing month. Sometimes he's caught in a memory. Sometimes when he's spending time with Leia, he can see the same loss cross her face. She was adopted, she's told him, which means they were both orphaned twice on the same two awful days. Maybe that's why she likes him. He understands her without pitying her.

The new base clings to the side of a mountain, all rugged, stark beauty and steep drops. The cave system goes deep into the heart of the mountain, and cave mouths inside the ravines all around provide safe harbor for their ships. Leia is sure-footed here, more than Luke. Alderaan had gorgeous mountains, she tells him as they wander. Luke has never seen a mountain before except in books and in strange dreams.

"Sometimes I forget how little of the galaxy you've seen," she says, and it's not cruel or teasing, but wistful, longing for an innocence he's starting to believe she never possessed. Leia teethed on peace treaties and learned to toddle in Senate chambers. When Luke was having his first uncomfortable dreams that left his bed stained in the morning, Leia was already devoted body, heart, and soul to this one cause. She doesn't have time for romance, or cards with the pilots. She spends time with Luke to make herself feel like a normal person for a little while because she doesn't know for sure what that's like.

They rest in the hollow of another cave, the private outcropping overlooking the harsh vista below, all weather-worn stone and ancient wind-carved valleys. It's desolate and beautiful, and the Empire may not find them for some time.

Leia follows his eyes and seems to follow his thoughts, too. "We'll have to split the fleet again when we relocate. We can't keep so many of our ships in one place."

"How many other cells are there?"

"As big as ours? None now." Sorrow echoes in those two words. Luke has heard only a smattering of news from the war. "There are dozens of smaller cells with a few capital ships, and individual cells number in the hundreds or thousands, maybe more. Fulcrum keeps them organized, but I don't know if anyone has a list of them all."

"I guess it's safer that way," he intends to say but his mouth has always gotten him into trouble, and what comes out is, "I want to stay with your part of the fleet."

Leia smiles, and it's kind, which hurts more than if she laughed. She'll give him a friendly brush-off, and they'll stay friends, but he knows there will be a distance after this. She will remember that as part of the command team, she will have to give him orders, and one of those orders could lead to his death. She will know that Luke may have saved her life, but he is not the kind of boy her lost parents would ever have approved of, and she has duties. She'll be nice about it. And ultimately, he'll be all right with that because all he wants is for her face to light up with happiness when she sees him, because he feels good when Leia is happy.

All this flashes through his head at once in a flame of banked disappointment, grudging acceptance, and already a measure of peace with what will be.

"I want that, too," she says, and she's not distant. She's sitting very close to him, wearing that same happy smile that brightens his days.

Luke knows better than to push his luck. He falls into the same gentle teasing he does with Han. "Then we're going to have to coordinate the roster. My squadron will need to be kept with your command team, but not obviously so. Our passcode will be 'eopie butter.'"

Now she does laugh. "I'll try to remember."

"We'll need to come up with a secret handshake to go along with it." Luke wiggles his left hand.

Leia takes the wiggling hand in hers. Then she pulls him in for a kiss, full and deep on his lips.

From the day he first saw the sweet-faced hologram begging old Ben Kenobi for help, a dream not unlike this has played its way through his brain night after night. He kisses her back lightly, not reaching for her, not wanting to startle her out of whatever mood brought her to the moment. The kiss seems to last for hours, but he's not even out of breath when she pulls away and smiles again.

"We could use that instead," Leia teases him.

"I could learn to live with that." Now he does push, just a bit. "Maybe you should show me again, just to be sure I've got it."

Leia makes an unprincesslike sound through her nose, but she reaches for his face and kisses him again, her teeth nipping at his lip as she finishes her demonstration. "Got it this time?"

"Think so, yeah."

"Good. You'd better show me to be sure."

Kissing is great. Luke feels no need to rush past it, instead enjoying the feel of her in his arms, and the clever way she moves her tongue. He can't hide his arousal but Leia doesn't point it out, and he's sure from her own deep gasps and flushed skin that she feels the same.

Later, he's glad they don't go further that night. This is a new stage in their relationship, and he wants to do it right, wants to do right by her. He wants her to be happy. Instead, they keep to their usual routines, having dinner together alone or with Han as he makes loud jokes, spending the precious little time Leia has watching holos with everyone else. But now there's a secret under it, and a way that her eyes meet his which thrills him.

Luke's squad is sent out on a scouting mission for a potential new base. Command likes to have their options open and ready. The planet looks like a perfect fit until they run smack into an Imperial convoy moving through the system. The dogfight is short but intense, and they lose three pilots before they can make the jump away.

"What happened?" Leia demands, but she's talking to Red Leader, and that's currently Wedge's role. Luke and the others keep their mouths shut. Everyone is glad they're alive, but the loss of the three recruits stings.

"They were passing through," Wedge reports. "We're lucky we saw them when we did."

There's more, and Leia's not the only commander with questions. After they've been thoroughly debriefed, they're released to go wash up and change. The Rebellion will mourn their dead and move on. They always do.

Leia happens to be standing in the corridor after Luke gets out of the 'fresher, clean and tired. 'Happens' means she's probably walked by here on pretexts six times before he emerged. Her face is still worried.

"Go for a walk?" he suggests.

"Talk in my quarters."

It isn't hard to slip unnoticed into her room even though they don't have to sneak around. The Rebellion is a machine that runs on caffeine and gossip, and most people think they're dating.

Luke is surprised when Leia presses him up against the door and kisses him hard. Her hands are on his shirt, and his fingers find her hair, and after that it's a matter of how difficult the buttons are on her clothes. They talk, but only enough to confirm what they've both wanted for weeks, with a cascade of "Want you"s and "Please"s. Leia has a stash of the flexithins the med droids hand out like sweeties, and she's much better at applying one to Luke than he is, not with his hands trembling this hard.

Flexithins pass along every sensation. Luke can feel how wet she is, can feel how tight she is, but there's no way the sheath around his prick is telling him how she feels each time he moves inside her. He knows, knows which thrusts hurt and which strike her in just the right place, and knows where Leia needs his hand touching her between them as she arches in pleasure.

The way they found each other has to be destiny. This must be right. When she bears down on him, squeezing, her eyes widen, and he knows Leia feels the same intensity he does. She's desperate, needy, spending the last few hours afraid he would be killed in a senseless battle before she could tell him how she feels. He reads it in her eyes as he turns his hips just so, feeling her quake inside.

Coming together is something that only happens in stories. Tonight, Luke lets go first, and feels Leia follow moments later, gasping and crying into his shoulder.

As they rest, neither able to speak, he can almost hear her think that nothing this perfect can last.

* * *

His squad isn't assigned to her command group. Han still hasn't left, and he winds up attached to Luke's cell. They haven't talked about what happened, and Luke doesn't think there's anything to talk about. Han still tells his too-loud jokes, but it's not as much fun for him without Leia around to get embarrassed. The General leading their team just gives him a flat look until he breaks off and mumbles something that's not really an apology.

Luke misses Leia. They kept everything as quiet as they could. He can tell Han knows but Luke thinks no one else knows for certain. It's not a big deal. One of the many propaganda rumors the Empire spreads about the Rebellion is that it's one big orgy, and it's true that there's a thriving culture of not giving a damn about social expectations. People hook up and draw apart.

Three weeks into the new arrangement, Wedge asks him out. Luke declines as politely as he can.

Two months on, their command gets word from a different command that they are reorganizing. Luke's squad is to join up with the squads under Leia's team. He can't hide his happiness, and Han teases him non-stop, though only out of earshot of the others: "She'll have found someone else, farmboy." He's not jealous. Luke would be able to tell, he's sure. Han just loves getting a rise out of anyone he can. Luke knows better than to listen. He counts down the days, getting distracted during his training flights enough to earn a dressing down from his current commander. Wedge has to listen in but doesn't say anything.

Finally, the day comes and the teams rejoin. Luke is careful to go through all his protocols as perfectly as he can, ignoring the teasing commlink in his ear that Han set up for just the two of them.

Leia doesn't join them in the mess. Luke finds his way to her new quarters later in the evening, and when she opens her door, he reads everything in the serious expression on her face.

"I can't compromise my ability to make decisions," she says in a well-rehearsed speech. "It's nothing personal."

"It feels personal," Luke replies, and leaves. Han's not hard to find, but they don't go to bed together. Instead they sit and talk all night. Luke tells him everything because he needs someone to talk to who won't judge him.

* * *

Luke takes Wedge up on that date, and the one after. It's nice, for a while. No strings, Wedge says and Luke agrees. Just comfort.

He's sure that's the same reason he's seen Han and Leia spending more time together these days. Caring for someone doesn't help anyone do their jobs, but sex can get them through the night.

* * *

Three bases later, and Han almost dies as they flee the last one. Luke ignores common sense and pushes him up against the nearest bulkhead.

"Thought you had a boyfriend," Han says.

"No," Luke says, and then his mouth is too full to talk.

* * *

He's given up on understanding Leia. Luke knows she cares about him. He knows for a fact that when they sleep together, she's happier than she's ever been with anyone else. She'll approach him at odd times, not demanding, not expecting, only hoping he'll say yes, and every time Luke tells himself the fallout isn't worth it no matter how much he loves her and wants her, and every time he says yes anyway.

"She's using you," Han says.

"Just tell me when you're going to be busy," Wedge says.

"This doesn't mean anything," Leia says.

"It doesn't matter," he tells Han, and kisses him.

"I'm sorry. I'll let you know you next time," he tells Wedge, and drags him into the nearest supply room.

"No, no plans tonight," he tells Leia, and he follows her to her quarters.

* * *

Hoth is cold. The Falcon has better heaters than the rooms on the rest of the base, and it isn't as if they haven't all seen one another naked before. His mouth knows the taste of Han's cock and Leia's cunt as well as it does the taste of his breakfast rations bar. Luke expects things to be weirder with the three of them together, trying to figure out whose arm goes where.

It's just comfort, he tells himself, rubbing his cock against Han's. They stay warmer this way, he thinks, sinking deep into the tight clench of Leia's body. He can't think at all when Han pushes in even tighter beside him, as Leia's moans fill the small compartment. Luke feels the hot friction, and he feels how Leia is stretched, and this doesn't have to be more as they move slowly in the freezing darkness.

* * *

Everything is different now.

Everything is broken.

Han is lost, and Luke is damaged in his soul as badly as in the hand that can't feel, not quite, not like before. Leia won't even hear of his keeping separate quarters from her, and Luke stops caring about what the rumors say. As he heals, he rests in her arms, too tired to make love to her. After weeks, she coaxes him through it, stroking him with hands and mouth until Luke is too aroused to stop, then riding him until she cries.

None of them meant to fall in love. This would be easier if they hadn't.

They have to fix this. The Rebellion will have to wait.

* * *

They've reached a respite for now, as the party to end all parties carries on without them. The Ewoks will keep going for days. Leia says Command is working on routing the last Imperial holdouts, which means they will be moving out soon. Things are moving forward into the position they've all wanted for so long, and the only price Luke has left to pay is the thin share of happiness he's accrued along the way.

He would like to think the rest of the Rebellion was ignorant of his affairs, that he kept his private life secret. Instead, everyone knows he's spent the last four years of his life madly in love with the woman he's just discovered is his sister.

"You okay?" Wedge asks him, offering him a drink. They've kept things as casual as possible. The simple affection he has for Wedge is easy compared to the messy tangle he's got for Han and the impossible knot he's built with Leia.

"It's been a very long day," Luke says, and Wedge laughs.

Han and Leia have their own place to sleep here in the treetop village. Luke ought to take this opportunity to find himself a willing friend and hole up for the night. He ought to see if Wedge is free tonight, and use his new-found and hard-won knowledge to make the easiest, safest, sanest choice of his life.

The party is still going when he makes his way to the small hut their hosts have given the two most important people in Luke's life. He sits and waits for them there, feeling the judgement of the ghosts heavy on his soul.

"You could have told me," he says to the air. "You should have told me."

Leia comes inside first, and Han follows her. As soon as their eyes adjust to the darkness, they both see him sitting.

Han says, "Brother, huh?"

Leia says, "Luke, tell him who our father was."

"You haven't yet?"

"I'm not sure I believe you," she replies, but she does. The moment he told her, he could tell she knew the truth and accepted it.

Before Luke can speak, Han says, "It doesn't matter."

"It does," they both say, and so much is explained now. He even dreamed of the mountains she knew as a child.

"It doesn't. Leia, you love him, right?"

"I told you already."

"Yeah, but tell Luke."

Leia sighs. "Of course I love him."

Han says, "Luke, you've loved her since before you met her, right?"

"I never had any chance of not loving her."

"Fine. You're both crazy about me, but since I'm irresistible, that only makes good sense."

Luke doesn't have to look at Leia for them both to pick up a thick, husk-filled pillow to swat Han with until he tells them to knock it off.

"It has to be over," Leia says, grief in her voice. Luke nods, wanting to hold her and knowing that's the wrong answer.

"Why?" Han's tone is honestly curious. "Does anyone else know?"

Luke shakes his head. "Not living. Ben knew. Yoda knew. Vader knew."

Leia says, "I think my parents must have known. My father was good friends with Obi-Wan. If he left me with them, he would have told them the truth."

Everyone who knows what they are to each other is dead.

Everyone who cares is in this darkened room.

This can't work.

Han says, "You two are miserable when you're apart. Trust me. Ever since the day you met, you've been stronger when you're together." There's a smell in his breath. Han's been tasting the Ewoks' curious liquor, making him loquacious. But he's not wrong.

Leia says, "If anyone finds out...."

"You can tell them you had no way of knowing. And everybody knows you're happiest together. When _we're_ together."

The hut is barely big enough for people of their size to sleep. Han's elbow winds up in Luke's solar plexus. Leia has to muffle her screams with one of the thin pillows as Luke licks her over and over, luxuriating in every peak he feels roll through her. Han bumps his head hard on the ceiling, and when he passes out after coming hard inside Luke, Luke is less concerned with his own orgasm than Han's possible concussion. In short, tonight is messy and a little painful, like always, and the morning is going to be hell.

Luke wouldn't have it any other way.

end


End file.
